Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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