Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
