lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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