He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
