he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
