don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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