Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
