My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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