my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
