Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
