Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
