I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
