PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I intend to get homeless drunk
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
