yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
