Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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