apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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