Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
