How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
