So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
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