people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
either way he was missing a nipple.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
