are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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