Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
