grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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