The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
