At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
