Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
