I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
this hospital has no fireball
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Randomize
