She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
