And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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