Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
