I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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