we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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