Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
