I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
