I seem to have left my pride at pride
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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