windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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