Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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