tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
