Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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