so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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