you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
