in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
