I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
