she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
