Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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