NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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