Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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