so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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