I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
