I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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