Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize