And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
