I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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