I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
