is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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